Tuesday, June 03, 2008
And here I go...
I've been dreading writing this post for a while. I know that once it is here on my blog, it makes it more real, more permanent. I knew that once I had written this, people could email me out of the blue and ask about it. So... here goes... (and yes, most of y'all will think I'm being over dramatic, I know... but it IS dramatic to me.)
I am overweight and I have decided to seriously do something about it.
I joined Weight Watchers in January of 2006 and by July of that year, I had lost 50 pounds and I felt SOOOOO good!! I was still far from my goal, but it seemed so attainable at that point!!!
Then we went away to a pastor's school that we attend every summer. We stay on a college campus, live in dorms for the week and eat at the cafeteria 3 times a day. An all-you-can-eat cafeteria, let me add. So, I messed up that week. Big time. But I figured when I got back home, I would start watching my portions and exercising again.
When we got back home, I did start. Kind of. I half-heartedly counted my points and exercised when I felt like it. But, I was fortunate to do just enough to maintain that 50 pound loss. I even survived Christmas that year without gaining!!!
Then came January 4, 2007. One of THE happiest days of my life. This day, we got our referral for Elizabeth. I was ECSTATIC!!! And, the last thing I wanted to do was worry about weight. MY BABY WAS WAITING FOR ME IN CHINA!! I had to pack!! I had to prepare for a new little life! Who had time to exercise and count points???
Then we got to China. This is where it gets bad. Really bad and ugly. We stayed at a wonderful hotel called the White Swan. Every morning for breakfast they serve a huge American style buffet breakfast. And every morning while we were there, I ate lots and lots of bacon and slices and slices of French toast with extra syrup. It tasted like home. We also found a place there called Danny's Bagels that would deliver to your room. They served food that also tasted like home- pizza, spaghetti, chicken Parmesan, mac and cheese. You know, low-cal stuff. (HA!!). And by day 5 or 6, I had discovered that the 7-11 across the street from the hotel had OREOS!!!! So I happily munched on a pack of 8 every night before bed. No, it was NOT pretty at all.
We got home and things went downhill from there. Since that time, I gained 25 of those pounds back and I feel icky. Blah, fat, flabby and icky (can anyone relate to that description??). I hate clothes shopping. I hate to see myself in the mirror and I HATE to be overweight.
So, I've had enough. I'm tired of it. I'm taking action. I've decided that *I* am now in control of my food- not the other way around. From now on, I will count my points because that is how I will control my food. I will exercise at least 5 days a week. I will drink at least 96 ounces of water a day. I will succeed and this time it will last.
I do plan on sharing weekly updates- mainly to keep myself accountable. (I even posted a "Tracking My Weight Loss" section over on the right side of the blog, about halfway down). This is going to be hard, I know. But, as I read on a weight loss blog the other day "It's hard. Being fat is hard too. Choose your hard."
Oh, and I would love to know if anyone else is in a similar boat right now and would like to share their struggles and successes. Surely I am not alone.